What the blueberries know
Out of the corner of my eye a small black dot was getting larger quickly, bringing with it the buzz of a tiny mighty motor. It banked one way and I ducked to the other, and as I stood upright again I couldn’t believe it. Bees buzzing in the blueberry bushes!
The very same blueberry bushes I’d given up for the season after a late spring freeze. Surely the cold winds would damage the tender buds. There wasn’t much I could do about it though, so when I was walking past the bed one week later, the last thing I was expecting was for the flowers to be there, much less a pollinator party!
So I stood there just taking it all in, watching the bees, the buds and how they worked together.
Call me a gardening geek, but I’m just amazed at how the pollinator system works. Blueberry bushes are built to make these delicious round blue globes. And to do that they need pollen from other blueberries. But they’re stuck in one spot and can’t just depend on the wind. They’ve gotta appeal to the busy bees, enticing them to stop and visit.
So the blueberries kick into gear, busting out blooms. Bees are now happy to stop by. They’re looking for pollen to make their own sweet nectar. They get what they need thanks to the blueberries and the blueberries are now well on their way to their own end goal - those delicious dark indigo globes of sweetness.
The blueberries have found a way to still be blueberries while working to entice a stakeholder. They’ve learned what the bees need - what matters to them - and provide that thing.
And isn't it wild how this communication between bees and bushes parallels communication between humans? This is yet another example of how well things work when we are clear in what we bring to the table and how that connects to what others need.
The blueberries simply do their thing. They’ve learned how to connect with the bees. And they don’t do it trying to be the flashiest flower in the garden. The bees don’t need them to be. They just need the blueberries to offer what’s important…. to the bees.
The best relationships are symbiotic of course, but so many of us spend our energy trying to convince the other person how they’ll benefit from our work. Imagine using that energy instead to be deeply curious and connect to what matters.
A friend was prepping for a big meeting this week. Rehearsing his talking points, refining the story, making sure he could answer every question. All the right preparation, except one thing. He hadn't spent much time thinking about what THEY were most worried about walking in. He wasn’t preparing questions he would ask THEM. Questions about their challenges, opportunities, and how they compare to industry trends and assumptions.
He knew what he needed, but by focusing so much on his side, he was basically waiting for the wind to bring in the new pollen. But when he shifted his approach to be more curious, he learned what would attract the bees for their benefit as well as his. Instead of leading with what his company offered, he opened with questions which gained trust and surfaced their biggest challenge heading into the next quarter. The conversation shifted completely.
This is exactly what we'll be exploring in a 90-minute workshop I'm running in April — 'When They Still Don't Get It.' If you've ever felt the frustration of knowing your stuff and still not getting through to the bees, I'd love to have you there. More details coming soon — or reply to this email and I'll send them your way.
Truly,
Jackie
Quiet Signals
What to notice this week:
- Think about an important conversation or meeting coming up this week. How much do you know about what THEY are most worried about walking in?
- When was the last time you prepared questions for the other person as carefully as you prepared your own talking points?
- Where in your work are you waiting for the wind — hoping the right people will find you — instead of offering what they're already looking for?
Signal Boost
If you want to explore these ideas more:
Lean In And Ask my latest piece for CUInsight.com tells the story of my own early experience from the other side of the table - when my CEO asked questions in a most unexpected way.
Made To Stick A classic for understanding why good ideas can still fall flat and how to get them to 'stick'. Link takes you to my
takeaway video on LInkedIn.
April's No Reading Required Book Club
Tuesday, April 21, Noon Central we'll explore TWO books, comparing To Sell Is Human by Pink and Influence by Cialdini. Both books cover different ways to 'convince' people - which approach is right for you? No reading required. Reply to this email and I'll send you the link.
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Hi there! I'm Jackie.
I help thoughtful people influence outcomes without having to become someone they’re not.
LinkedIn Website
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