As we plopped in the golf cart, my Dad reported his score with a grumble:
“Daggum double”
He’d needed two extra strokes to get his ball in the hole - a double bogey - not a score my Dad typically makes.
We were sweating more than a pitcher of pink lemonade at an August picnic. The heat was definitely getting to both of us. And as the breeze from the speedy golf cart cooled me down a bit, I said:
“Dad. It’s just a number.”
He sighed and leaned back with a “you’re right,” then played the next hole like the silky smooth golfer he is.
Numbers were a key element of that day we played - it was the day I marked 56 years in this world.
Birthdays have a tendency to stir up some pretty big thoughts for me. In fact, it was five birthdays ago that my mid-life mayhem kicked off with the question: why hadn’t I achieved more by now? I looked around on my 51st birthday and felt like I should be further along. That I should have more answers, less doubt. Heck, there were days back then I felt less grown up at 51 than I did when I was 21.
What in the world was I doing with my work, with my life?
As I continue looking for answers to those questions, I wonder if that searching might actually be the point. When I lean into curiosity, wonder at those big questions and sit in awe at beautiful everyday moments, that’s when some amazing connections spring up.
To have it ‘all figured out’ seems pretty dull. Sad cynics are not my cup of tea. Arrogant experts feel removed, remote, repulsive.
Give me those who are a light in the darkness, who search for the best in each of us and champion creativity and connection.
Give me more Dolly Partons.
In all of the many tributes to her over the past few days, it’s clear she treasured kindness, creativity, curiosity and connection.
Stories which extend more than half a century as a celebrity… as a heavily costumed celebrity even… have been pouring out of people for days. Countless stories have emerged about just how curious she was of each and every person she met. How she remembered them years later, how she made people feel at ease.
Those tributes have far outnumbered the numbers. She wrote thousands of songs, earned dozens of awards, and had plenty of chart-topping hits. Yet as we’re experiencing in her recent passing, those numbers, well, are just numbers. We’re craving more stories about how being kind and curious leads to heartfelt connections. She might have worn a wig and a mask of makeup but Dolly connected as a human, with kindness and curiosity above all else.
A golf score. The number of candles on a cake. Whether a song made it to #1. Those are just numbers.
Maybe it’s time for kind, curious connections to count instead.
Truly,
Jackie
Quiet Signal
Who made you feel genuinely seen this week?
And did you tell them?
Signal Boosts
Want to explore more? Check out these resources:
A CBS Sunday Morning p
iece on Dolly Parton covering several profiles, interviews and behind-the-scene tours over the years
September's No Reading Required book chat will feature Slow Productivity by Cal Newport. Join us September 15th for fun conversations about serious ideas. Reply for details.
What's On My Radar
Still on a Smoky Mountain high!
Shared some thoughts on LinkedIn about a great ranger I met and what it was like to be in Dolly's neck of the woods as news of her passing was announced.
September brings an in-person workshop: How to take the cringe out of networking, which is definitely exciting, but as much as I love facilitating, I think I'm more stoked about college football starting up! Go Vols!
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Hi there! I'm Jackie.
I help thoughtful people show up fully without having to become someone they’re not.
LinkedIn Website
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