Flashy leaders get attention. The ones people follow are doing something very different.
His looks stopped traffic. His dramatic head toss turned heads. His entrances demanded attention.
This was no heart-throb movie star, this was one of our horses. His name was Apache - beautiful buckskin, with a coat the color of melted butter and a coal black mane and tail. He was drop dead gorgeous and he knew it.
I’ll never forget the day we introduced him to the rest of our small herd. They, like us, were entranced by his flashy moves. The usual pecking order completely shattered - the other horses gave him alpha status before I could even lace up my boots.
But something was different about this alpha. The horses spooked more easily. They spent more time on the move searching for better grazing spots. Feeding time was chaotic - jockeying for buckets with hoof kicks and teeth nips.
Then Star came along.
She was not flashy, or loud or dramatic. She did not thrash about, tossing her head or kicking her hooves at the drop of hat. She just… carried herself differently. A quiet clarity. A calm watchfulness.
She grazed with each horse, one-on-one, taking stock. She didn’t squeal orders, she made decisions. When she did pin her ears or move her body, the message was unmistakable - received and implemented without theatrics.
And feeding time? No big scenes or bruises required for each horse to get their fair share.
Within days, the herd settled. Grazing improved. Chaos subsided.
Buckets stayed in place.
Apache dazzled.
Star led.
Funny how we know both types inside our workplaces too.
The charismatic talkers, masters of jargon, nails-shined, shoes-polished — all presence, no follow-through — who leave confusion and politics in their wake.
And then… every so often… a Star.
The leader who doesn’t need to perform because clarity, connection, and calm are powerful enough. Who invites instead of demands. Who listens before speaking. Who builds the kind of trust that makes people want to follow, not just have to.
The good news?
You don’t have to change who you are to lead like Star.
You simply need tools that turn presence into influence.
That’s exactly what The Listening Loop helps you do — a 5-step framework for creating powerful conversations that connect first… so your ideas actually land, and your team feels safe enough to share theirs.
Because in the end, we don’t want to just look impressive.
We want our words, our work, and our wisdom to mean something.
And how we show up — calm, clear, connected — is the most courageous first step.
(If you're new to my Listening Loop, hit reply and I'll send you the tip sheet)
Signal Boosts
Ready to amp up your work and that of your team? Check out
my take on the classic "Flow" by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi.
Rhonda Harris, former Chevron exec, on c
reating authentic connection in corporate as interviewed by Dr. Michael Gervais in his "Finding Mastery" podcast
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Hi there! I'm Jackie.
I help thoughtful people turn clarity + connection into the kind of leadership others want to follow.
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