I thought I understood the assignment.
My duties as the plus-one for the Top Golf evening were pretty simple: support my husband, fill in conversation gaps, encourage others during their turn and maybe sneak in a few tweaks to my own golf swing.
It was a hot August night, right smack in the middle of an off-site three-day planning session. This particular evening brought my husband and the rest of their leadership team together to shed some of that all-day tension.
You can probably hear those conversations - so what are you doing these days? How’s the family? What do you think about the (insert local sports team)?
It was good to catch up. I usually see them just once or twice a year, warm but quick conversations as the leaders mingle with the employees. But that night I had more time with them than usual given the smaller group and the Top Golf games. We laughed, told stories and high-fived to celebrate great shots.
And then as we were tallying points and gathering our purses and phones, the good-nights and good-byes started up. I turned to the meeting organizer to thank her for such a nice event. She said she was glad I was able to come out and that she was excited to see me tomorrow.
> record scratch <
“Uhmmm. I’m sorry. What did you say?”
“Oh, did no one tell you? We’d love to have you speak to the group tomorrow! We had no idea you knew so much about communications! We’d really like to get a handle on it. Could you stop by the meeting and share your thoughts?”
She laughed and said, “Well, the confusion about who was going to tell you just highlights how much help we do need!”
And then my mind went blank. Wait. Not blank, actually. Flooded.
My brain was flooded by this huge cascade of thoughts:
Did I bring anything besides shorts on this trip?!
Oh yes, the just-in-case-we-go-to-dinner outfit. And it’s that magnificent magenta blouse! Shew!
(And why was my outfit the first thing that popped up? Get it together Jackie)
Do I need to find a slide deck to repurpose?
OK, maybe just skip that - too fussy.
Then the bigger questions started popping up:
Was it the president who was interested in internal communications or the operations guy? Which one wants presentations to go more smoothly?
Who was it that is curious about executive coaching?
When did 'more effective collaboration' come up?
What do they actually need?
This cascade of thoughts traveled with me while we drove back to the hotel. At 10 o’clock. A mere 14 hours until I stepped into that leadership meeting, all eyes on me.
And in those 14 hours I had 12 already planned: sleep, get ready, breakfast, and most importantly - prep then be completely present for a 90-minute client call.
As I got ready for bed, I checked the closet. Shew, just as I remembered: the magnificent magenta blouse was hanging there, ready to go. I shut the door on the closet and my outfit worries. That gave me space to revisit the conversations from the evening, to think about what they were really saying underneath what I first thought was simply small talk and social banter.
So many different themes popped up but also, so many questions. I grew frustrated trying to think through the answers, then finally called it a night and turned off the light.
The magenta blouse, black dress pants and shoes felt good the next morning.
We stopped for a cozy cup of coffee as I took my husband to the morning session of the meeting.
My client call was amazing.
The bags were packed and in the car.
The questions were still there as I walked into the meeting.
Questions, it turns out, would be my answer.
Truly,
Jackie
Quiet Signal
What would change if you led with questions instead of answers in your next conversation?
Signal Boosts
Want to go deeper into the power of questions? Check out these resources:
How to take the cringe out of networking A live, local workshop here in Athens on Sept 29th. Questions are a key factor, join us to find out how. And it's free! Thanks to a partnership with
The LaunchBox and DEIBA.
How to talk about your work (and AI ain't it) A live, online workshop inside of the
Gather and Grow Conference in October. And you guessed it, questions are a central step to this as well. (Using my affiliate
link to sign up gives me a small share in the revenue.)
September's No Reading Required book chat will feature Slow Productivity by Cal Newport. Join us September 15th for fun conversations about serious ideas. Reply for details.
What's On My Radar
Thankful for this beautiful clematis and its delicate blooms going strong despite the heat wave we're having!
Looking forward to cooler weather and fall garden fun. I've been taking notes this summer of what plants are struggling, outgrowing their space or could use more or less sun. Finally get to make those adjustments!
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Hi there! I'm Jackie.
I help thoughtful people show up fully without having to become someone they’re not.
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Thank you for reading!
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