Alignment's big miss
Eight pairs of eyes looked up at me as I invited them to share what surfaced in their paired conversations. This workshop was just a few minutes in and this group was already leaning in, eager to learn more.
Right away, one participant shared what came up in her conversation. Immediately across the table, someone else agreed and heads started nodding around the table. It would have been easy to summarize and move on. Then someone said, “Well… our group actually went in a different direction.”
My heart soared. I was eager to hear more.
Not because I love disagreement, but because I love what could happen next.
She went on to describe how her group had approached the topic from a completely different angle. The others leaned in to ask questions. People started sharing examples to clarify ideas. There was gentle pushback as they tested their assumptions out loud.
What mattered to one person didn’t quite match what mattered to another and instead of smoothing it over, they stayed with it. They were thinking together.
That is the part many of us unintentionally rush past.
Embracing the mess
Too often we get into meetings and projects eager for activity, anxious to create lists, assign tasks and plot timelines. So there's a tendency to simply say yes to an idea which might be kinda close, an idea that's good enough.
But often, the friction shows up later, when the people closest to the work quietly wonder whether everyone was actually aligned in the first place.
What gets skipped is the phase before alignment, the part where people make sense of the terrain together. When the group is given the opportunity to surface constraints, name tensions, compare interpretations, they refine what the work actually requires.
Slowing Down to Move Smarter
It starts with catching the moment when something doesn’t quite sit right. The strategy session where someone says, “Wait, are we solving the right problem?” The fundraising meeting where someone questions the timeline. The conversation where someone says, “Actually, we saw this differently.”
Some might see these as annoying interruptions. Thoughtful leaders see these as invitations.
When we allow space for real sense-making, especially when perspectives differ, we create stronger alignment, not weaker. Alignment that’s built from shared understanding, not surface agreement.
What moment might you catch this week?
Truly,
Jackie
Quiet Signals
What to notice this week:
- When someone hesitates before agreeing
- When a question shifts the energy in the room
- When you feel the urge to - or feel the group - rush to “what’s next”
- When a different perspective creates curiosity instead of defensiveness
Signal Boost
If you want to explore this idea a bit more, join some online conversations such as networking events and watch for these moments live. Might even see one or two in the book club!
Febuary No Reading Required Book Club
This Tuesday, February 17, we'll explore The Art of Gathering, a practical, mindset-shifting look at why we gather and how small, intentional choices can transform meetings, workshops, and events from forgettable to meaningful, whether you’re leading a team meeting or hosting a dinner. No reading required. Come curious. Leave with insight you can actually use. Reply to this email and I'll send you the calendar invite & link.
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Hi there! I'm Jackie.
I help thoughtful people influence outcomes without having to become someone they’re not.
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