Hi there Reader,
Welcome to this edition of Meaningful eMail with the most recent takeaway and updates linked here at the top, and then a full article for your consideration.
Grab what's helpful today, then save others for future reference. You never know when you or someone in your network could use a boost!
Recent Takeaways & Updates
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Mid-Year Book Recap & Top 3!
Check out the full list of books I've read & reviewed, including which ones made the most impact.
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Free Yourself From The Title Trap
My latest article on The Credit Union Connection provides five tools to gain confidence from who you are instead of what you do.
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Let's Explore
Shedding Season
Full confession: along with being a gardening geek, I’m a bird nerd. I have a bird ID app. In it, I record cool sightings. I’m super proud of the bird bath/fountain I built this spring outside our kitchen sink window. I totally gasped in wonder when I spotted the first bird take a dip and it’s still one of those simple, joyful moments when I get to see them do their shimmy and shake in the bath. Bird. Nerd.
In case you’re more on the birds-are-nice-but-not-THAT-nice side of the coin, here’s a fun fact for you: this is the time of year when baby birds are dropping their baby feathers and growing their adult feathers. It’s adorable.
You might spot a cardinal whose red feathers look a little off - maybe some gray patches among the red. Or a blue jay with a bald head (strangely adorable?).
They’re molting - the technical term for losing their outer covering as they move into a new stage of growth.
They look a little awkward and I totally get it. I definitely felt awkward when I went through my own molting a few years ago. And maybe the look on my face during that time might’ve been a bit strangely adorable to those who happened to spot me as I fumbled around trying to find my way?
Shedding 30 Years
I was shedding my creative director feathers. Those feathers had served me well for 30 years, but they were getting frayed and frazzled, dropping even before I really knew what was happening.
As they started dropping, I felt so uncomfortable. Exposed even. I’d been a creative director for so long - who was I underneath those feathers? What value would I have without these feathers? They’d helped me fly. People recognized me in the graphic designer plumage. Without it, how would they know me? How would I know me?
It took a while for me to see the molting for what it was. I went for months thinking it was about finding ways to grow my freelance business, but it was actually about finding ways to grow me.
I’d been stuck in a rut, yet my brain and body were changing. That push and pull of changes vs comfort finally forced my feathers to start dropping. Nature will win out one way or another.
Molting is hard work. Birds need extra seed. I needed additional support beyond my usual support system. Counseling, then coaching; extra journaling; reading up on midlife, midcareer, identities; trying different ways of working; all these and more to discover who I was underneath those old feathers.
Stronger For It
Yet, for all that hard work, I wouldn’t change it for anything. I now feel more like myself than I have in decades - maybe ever?! I’ve been vulnerable, exposed, awkward and lived to tell about it. I’ve discovered my value is not tied to any work or business success, but instead to me being me. Molting revealed my raw, true self. These new feathers feel like a bonus. If I were to molt again, I know it’ll be less awkward, more intriguing as I get curious about what the new feathers will look like.
And that’s the thing about molting - the process makes us stronger. We can now draw strength from having been through such an awkward phase. We’ve honed our transition skills, so that when we face changes in the future, we’ll have sharper tools and be more comfortable with being uncomfortable.
Shedding our old feathers makes way for healthier ones. Feathers which help us fly even higher and farther.
Prime The Process
There are ways to help ease the molting process. Research shows (and I see it proven out in my client work) that as we look to shed identities, self-discovery tools and a strong support system are key.
It’s hard to read our own label from inside the jar as they say, so an unbiased third-party is an essential partner for seeing the full you. That’s why I’m such a strong believer in the coaching process. Coaching is self-discovery AND support all in one.
Other tools include assessments, reflective exercises, journal prompts, quiet solitude, as well mentors/guides found through podcasts, books, networking and workshops. Let me know if you’d like some recommendations.
Molting is hard work, but when Nature says you’re ready for a change, you better gather your tools and get ready. With the right process in place you’ll be flying high before you know it!
PS: When you're ready to get to know yourself better, I'd love to be your guide. Checkout my Meaningful Mid-Life Momentum program!
